edit. for the one person who will understand this. everyone else don't even bother.

"i like to eat pickles. sometimes i freeze them and then take them out of the freezer and sit on them until they become warm on the outside and still have a frozen center. i then proceed to coat my pickles with ranch dressing because i LOVE ranch dressing.

i love guns 'n roses. the reason i love guns 'n roses is because axel rose is so freaking hott. and slash, wait.... isn't he dead? doesn't matter. he has a big drug problem, and his hair is SO BIG it could probably cover the whole state of wisconsin.

i know this gay kid. his name is Nick Cosentino. he thinks he's emo, but he's really just gay. that's all i have to say. HEY, HEY, HEY.

i'm scared right now. out of my mind, in fact... my cat Ben just jumped on top of the keyboard and said to me, "Thank you, Doctor Lloyd." it's frollicking around my room being gay. what a gay cat...

i'm tired... WHAT WHAT. i'm such a gangstAAAAAA, not a gangster.

be right back, i have to run across the street to get my jackhammer. tomorrow i'm digging up my driveway to look for gold or any other precious metals...

ok.

so anyways......earlier i was chewing on this q-tip i found in my purse. i had chewed on it about a month ago. it isn't one i've put in my ear... but it's not like i don't clean those out or anything, i just use them for my makeup. but the flavor those pesky little q-tips produces.... man, it really tickles my fancy.

i had this wonderful fruit salad today. but it wasn't the fruit that was delicious, it's the dip that got me. the dip was... you guessed it. RANCH DRESSING. just kidding, it was actually a dip from heaven. orgasm in dip form, if you will. really good.

on an end note, back to the ranch dressing. it is my firm philosophy that ranch dressing can be applied to 8 out of every 10 foods. minus the sweets, of course. think about it, everything is good with that stuff. EVERYTHING.

i want to marry Mr. Hidden Valley.

cheese graters are awesome.

Emeril is my hero.

BAM.

kick that stuff up a notch.

just to let you all, i just swallowed paper for you...

americas next top model marathon next sunday on VH1.

PAARTTTYYY!!!

& just to let all of you kool kats know, breakfast food is now considered scene."

you know i've meant everything i've said.